How Did I Get Here?

If you've been hanging out with me on this page, you might recall I asked "How did we get to this point?" I was speaking more of the collective WE, as a people. You probably read "Moment of Truth," my view of the deciding process Tyler and our family went through.

It really is a process for the whole family. Every member is affected. At our house, we are a family of six -- mom, dad, four boys born about 3 years apart. Every one was in a different stage of life. I was beginning a new job; my husband was beginning to think of retiring. Our oldest son was in college; our third son was entering high school. Our youngest child, the littlest brother -- was 11. Tyler was ready to leave it all behind. And he really was ready, we would learn. 

I should have known he would never take that ROTC scholarship. He had still been doing PT with the Army Recruiters for months, doing all kinds of crazy stuff. In his spare time, he'd go for a hike around town carrying 80 pounds of boulders in his back pack. I spent Mother's Day the year he left in the ER with him. Working out with the recruiters, he got a gash on his leg that became infected. So there we sat all that rainy Mother's Day, with much going unsaid between us.

On Memorial Day, the commander of the ROTC unit called and asked to speak with Tyler. He wasn't home, and did I get a surprise when I took the message. "I just wanted to talk to Tyler about declining the scholarship, Ma'am," the southern drawl said. "WHAT???" That was the only word that would come out. Few have been the times when I was ever at a loss for words. This was one of them.

That was the beginning of my truly horrible, no good, very bad summer. Tyler was on one side of the line. I was on the other. Two of the most stubborn people you will ever have occasion to meet, locked in a battle. Me, wanting him to go to college. Him, wanting to go do the right thing for him and the country. A minefield of words, all around us. Step on the wrong word, and someone got hurt. Flareups abounded.

Believe me when I say it was a long journey to get where we are today. When the road seems darkest, light is coming. You just can't give up. You have to keep going. More tomorrow...