Healing Words

The day I learned of my son's decision to enlist was the day the bottom fell out for me as a mother. After years of being the “decider,” all seemed lost. The next weeks were filled with dread of the future, like waiting for a funeral. I felt not a scrap of joy. The fear of what could happen to my son nearly crippled me as his parent. If screaming and crying could have prevented him from going, he’d be with me still.

Graduation came and went. I planned a celebration though my heart was absolutely, utterly broken. Next I planned a farewell gathering, going through the motions of letting go. The ties that bind were being crudely severed, inflicting the worst pain I had ever experienced as a mother. A verse of scripture haunted me: “In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and would not be comforted because they are not.” (Matt. 2:18) There was no consoling me.

 

There were parties for children of our friends and relatives to celebrate bright futures and to wish them well. Imagine rubbing salt in an open wound. I wished their joy could be my joy. It was at a party that I ran into an acquaintance from years ago. Catching up with old friends included sharing my son’s choice to serve his country. When he arrived, I introduced him to a friend I hadn't seen in years. I had just told her about his choice, and it happened. Five words were spoken…

“Thank you for your service.”

The words came easily, with sincerity, kindness and tremendous respect. I was astonished, speechless even. Of all the things I'd heard people say of my son’s decision, thank you wasn’t one of them. 

It was a moment in time that will stay with me forever. In my heart, it ranks with other big moments I’ve shared with him  -- his birth, first step, first day of school -- first thank you as a soldier. His departure was terrible and the days that followed, brutal. But recalling those words began the healing process for me.

Words have great power – they can inform, persuade, and cause great hurt. Words can heal the broken heart of a mother.